


Scarred Lips

by PlayerOneMell



Series: Echoing Words [4]
Category: Be More Chill
Genre: A little bit of blood, Abuse, Angst, Apocalypse Of The Damned!!!!, Blood, Bruises, Cutting, Expensive headphones (mentioned), Gay, Kissing, Lots of Angst, M/M, Michael in the bathroom lyrics, Michael’s brother abuses him, Nightmares, Post: SQUIP, Sad, Senior year, Violence, boyf riends - Freeform, butterfly knife, the ‘f’ word
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 15:40:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15799539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlayerOneMell/pseuds/PlayerOneMell
Summary: As Michael hums a Bob Marley tune and enters the house, he notices that there is someone else there. He places his school bag down on the dining room table and immediately gets a chill. The hairs stand up on the back of Michael’s neck and even his leg. His stomach turns giving him the instinct to run. What could’ve given Michael such a strong urge? The chilling voice of his brother.





	Scarred Lips

_‘Michael who’s a loner,_

_So he must be a stoner._

_Rides a PT Cruiser_

_God he’s such a-’_

 

The memories crash over Michael like a tidal wave, and it drowns out any other sound. This shouldn’t be a problem as the nerd in the red hoodie is sleeping anyhow. However, he feels as if there is something he forgetting. He feels as if someone is calling his name over and over again. A beeping behind it. Could it be the SQUIP?

 

“Michael!” Jeremy calls, shaking Michael’s shoulder gingerly. “Michael, wake up!”

 

Ah, it appears that Michael’s boyfriend is trying to wake him. Michael’s unfortunately, is a heavy sleeper. So Michael’s stuck in his own little world for the moment. The memories are running in the race track of his mind. There’s no escape for this slumber until something shocking wakes him.

 

_‘Get out of my way-’_

 

“Michael! Wake up!” Jeremy kisses his cheek.

 

‘ _LOSER’_

 

The word seems to play in slow motion against all other memories in Michael’s brain. It’s the one that stings his heart deeply. It’s the reason he was in a hospital around one month ago now. Michael despises the word above anything else in his life. Even his brother - and that’s saying a lot.

 

After hearing the dreaded ‘L’ word, Michael wakes with a start and Jeremy is kneeling in front of him. Jeremy’s usually the one to have nightmares, that’s why he slept over at the Mell house that night, but Michael just had one for some reason.

 

“Mikey, are you alright?” Jeremy asks, softly.

 

Michael’s breathing is clearly weighted, and a bit shaky. Jeremy pushes some of Michael’s hair out of his face and places his brown glasses frames on his face. The frames have four green dots in the corners. They’re Michael’s favorite pairs because he thinks they look gamer like, or something like that.

 

“I’m alright, yeah. Just a bad dream.” Michael sighs, looking at Jeremy with a shaky smile. “Please tell me there’s a way for me to get out of going to school today.”

“Mikey, you th-therapist s-s-said that it’s g-good for you to g-g-get out of b-bed and do st-stuff after a negative experience. Like ex-exercise!”

“How would I get exercise by going to school?” Michael raises an eyebrow.

 

Michael notices that Jeremy’s stutter is being a little excessive and gets out of bed. He knows Jeremy probably woke him up because he needs his anxiety medication and doesn’t remember where he put it. Honestly, Jeremy just woke Michael up because his alarm is broken. Jeremy is just trying to be the best boyfriend.

 

After the experience in the hospital, Jeremy is trying a lot harder to be there for Michael. Jeremy notices that Michael has always been the strong one, but he knows he doesn’t know how to be the strong one either. Jeremy doesn’t know how to be the strong one. He needs Michael to be strong for him at times, but he’s been rather fine lately. He tries his best to not go to as many parties. That way, Michael doesn’t feel so left out.

 

“C-C-Cause we h-have gym.” Jeremy points out.

Michael rolls his eyes, “Just another reason for me and Jake to have a petty competition.”

“You d-don’t ha-have to.” Jeremy shrugs as Michael tosses him the medicine bottle that contains his anxiety medication. “Th-th-that’s com-completely under your con-cont-trol.”

Michael rolls his eyes, “Sure, Whatever. Need whatever.”

“Please.” Jeremy smiles softly.

 

Michael sighs and goes upstairs into the kitchen. The house is relatively empty this morning. Michael’s moms were off on some sort of vacation, and his siblings weren’t around. His moms said either Jackson or Sophia would be there to check up on him. Michael’s secretly hoping that it would be his sister.

 

Sophia always has been relatively nice to Michael, but now she’s usually busy with work. Michael blames it on his father who is now dead. Nobody brings that up anymore though. It’s a bit of a touch subject.

 

Anyhow, Michael gets Jeremy a glass of water to take with his medication and heads back into the basement where his bedroom is. Michael’s got a pretty sweet bedroom too, and it’s one of the only places in his house that he actually likes to be in. When he was younger, he could be in there for hours by himself. Things aren’t like that anymore, but boy! Michael sure does wish life were like that again. Although, he’s happy that Jackson isn’t around anymore.

 

“Here you are, Bear.” Michael smiles.

“Th-thanks.” Jeremy kisses Michael’s cheeks by standing on his tip toes.

 

Michael’s taller than Jeremy by a little bit. It wasn’t always that way. When they had first met Jeremy was a little taller than Michael, but once the boys were in third grade, they were the same height. After that, Michael was taller through and through. It’s always gonna be that way, and will be for the rest of their lives, however long that may be.

 

Jeremy takes his pills with the glass of water that Michael has provided for him. He is thankful that Michael is so helpful to him, but Jeremy can still tell Michael’s not at his best. He may be good at hiding it, but Jeremy knows what’s up. Jeremy’s made it his job to know what is going on with Michael so he can always be there to support him.

 

“Are you still gonna come play video games with me after school?” Michael asks, sounding like his old cheery self. “I’ve got the new DLC, ya know downloadable content, pack for Apocalypse of the Damned! Some players are saying it enhances the graphics! Isn’t that cool?” Michael says with a dopey grin.

“Michael, it’s an 8-bit game, how can the graphic be enhanced?” Jeremy raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t know! But it’s gotta be good, right? Besides, I got some extra vintage sodas just for the weekend we’re gonna spend together!”

 

Jeremy feels his stomach lurch ever so slightly. It’s musical season at Middleborough, and he knows that Michael knows that. Hell, Michael even considered being part of stage crew. Jeremy’s been meaning to ask if he went through with that or not.

 

“Mikey, baby, I’m s-sorry.” Jeremy says quietly, watching all of Michael’s facial expressions drop. “I’ve got rehearsal.”

“Oh.. oh, right. It’s fine.” Michael smiles softly. “I can order us a pizza and you can come over after rehearsal?”

“I w-was supposed to go out w-with Ch-Christine and B-Brooke, but it’s fine.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you spending all your time with me.” Michael shrugs, not wanting Jeremy to feel trapped. “Just, promise you’ll come home before midnight? We can watch a movie?”

“Sure, how about some midnight pizza then?” He smiles.

“Sounds like the most casual date ever.” Michael grins.

“But call if you need a thing, alright?”

“Of course.” Michael nods.

 

By then, it is time for the boys to head to school. Michael grabs his car keys that go to his old car, it’s his love. Michael has a PT Cruiser and will drive it absolutely anywhere. Once, while he was high, he married the car. Rich has officiated the ceremony. It was a good time.

 

Michael opens the passenger seat door for Jeremy, being the true gentleman that he is. Michael loves making Jeremy blush, and doing things like that? It makes Jeremy’s cheeks flush with the color that is found on the inside of a strawberry. Just a fresh shade of pink that accents the boy’s freckles so perfectly. It makes butterflies flap their wings in Michael stomach, and it brings joy to Michael.

 

When Jeremy smiles or just giggles - Michael’s worries melt into absolutely nothing. Jeremy is Michael’s sunshine, and the light of his life. Without Jeremy, Michael doesn’t know where he would be in life. Probably just single or something. Although, Jeremy’s kind of the reason Michael broke up with Rich.

 

“Mikey?” Jeremy raises an eyebrow.

“What?” Michael asks, looking at Jeremy.

“We’re at school. You z-zoned out the entire dr-drive. Bob Marley really keeps you in a trance, huh?”

“Guess so.” Michael shrugs and gets out of the car.

 

For some reason, time seems to be moving fast today. Michael’s not sure, but for some reason he feels as if he is moving a lot slower than everyone else. Sure, he doesn’t run through the hallways like Rich does, but he doesn’t walk the speed of a granny on an electric scooter either.

 

“Mikey! Hey.” Christine waves, she looks a little tired but still smiles a little bit. “What’s up, dude?” She says in a fake guy voice.

Michael laughs softly, “Not much, Chrissy. I just seem to be walking a little slower today.”

“That’s alright, everybody has off days.” Christine shrugs. “Even me.”

“I know, Chrissy. I’m trying my best.” Michael smiles softly.

 

Christine smiles and gives Michael a small hug, knowing he’ll need it. Michael appreciates the fact that Christine always tries her best to be cheerful. Christine has problems of her own of course, but she tries her best to be there for her friends.

 

“Thanks, Chrissy.” Michael smiles softly.

“Anytime!” She chirps as the bell rings.

 

Michael internally groans, but not externally. Externally, he puts on a small smile. He is going to try at least try and make today a great day, right? After all, it is Friday. Everyone always says that Fridays should be a fun experience! Although, that’s not always true. Michael knows he’s going to have to wait for Jeremy to come home later. He’s sure he can occupy by himself.

 

As he goes through the day, it is actually pretty decent. Sure, him and Jake have a small competition in gym. It’s just what they do. Today in physical education class, better known as P.E., the boys played baseball. Jake is known for being athletic, and Michael isn’t; however, to everyone’s surprise, Michael’s pretty talented at sports.

 

“Not a bad game, Mell.” Jake pats his back after the game is over. “Nice going. What’s your secret?”

“Probably being a lefty.” He shrugs.

Jake laughs softly, “Yeah, sure.”

“Ya never know, Dillinger.” Michael smirks.

 

That is probably the highlight of Michael’s day, which is saying a lot. In his schedule that day, Michael doesn’t get to see Jeremy much. Michael is dreading the end of the day because he knows that he has to go home alone. Well, so he thinks. Michael’s no going to be home alone at all. He just doesn’t know that yet.

 

Soon enough, the end of the day approaches and Jeremy meets Michael in the hallway and hugs him tightly. Jeremy kisses Michael’s chest as he does so. It’s clear that Jeremy has not exactly had the best day either.

 

“Hey, baby.” Michael says softly. “You doing okay?”

“Yeah.” He sighs. “I’m just really tired, and stressed with Midterms coming up.”

 

Michael kisses Jeremy’s head and rubs his back with his thumb. Midterms were readily approaching, and that hasn’t even crossed Michael’s mind yet. Michael is so worried about everything else he forgot about Midterms! He’s supposing he still has a bit of time to focus on that. Maybe that’s what he will do tonight.

 

“Yeah, but I’m sure we will do just fine.” Michael smiles softly, holding one of Jeremy’s hands.

“Says you. You already completely your math and science.”

“Yeah, but now I’m all advanced and shit. Stuff isn’t easy.”

“You’re super smart.”

“You’re smart when you take a moment to breath, babe. Don’t worry. It’s another two weeks away.” Michael say with reassurance.

 

Jeremy nods, and fidgets with his navy blue cardigan a bit. He seems alright though. Jeremy looks at Michael with a small smile, but again - he seems alright. He seems alright. He _seems_ alright.

 

“I should get going to rehearsal.” Jeremy sighs, looks up at his boyfriend. “I’ll see you later, alright?”

“Sure thing, Jer. Bye, babe.”

“Bye, sweetheart.” Jeremy smiles and softly kisses Michael on the lips.

 

Okay, that’s the highlight of Michael’s day. There’s nothing that makes Michael’s heart thrum quite like a kiss from Jeremy. It helps lighten Jeremy’s mood - kissing Michael. There’s nothing more magical than true love’s kiss.

 

Michael takes a look at Jeremy’s adorable blush before heading his way home. He gets in his PT Cruiser just as snow starts to fall. Michael makes sure to turn on his windshield wipers while he drives back to the Mell house. He has Bob Marley playing in the car so he could hopefully keep his mood up; however, the world has other plans.

 

As Michael hums a Bob Marley tune and enters the house, he notices that there is someone else there. He places his school bag down on the dining room table and immediately gets a chill. The hairs stand up on the back of Michael’s neck and even his leg. His stomach turns giving him the instinct to run. What could’ve given Michael such a strong urge? The chilling voice of his brother.

 

“Hello, little brother.” Jackson Mell hums.

 

Jackson Joseph Mell is the rudest Mell anyone will ever meet. Jackson is a stuck up, close minded, homophobe. Michael calls him a prick, and only uses that word for him. Jackson has a few special words that he calls Michael. Jackson and Michael would fight as kids, well - sort of. Jackson actually abused Michael, and everyone else in the family denies it.

 

Michael swallows his spit, and his pride for a moment. He can feel his ribs shaking from just knowing his brother is behind him. Michael turns around to see his older, but shorter, brother. The unforgiving eyes that belong to Jackson meet the sweet chocolate brown eyes that belong to Michael. The sparkle in Michael’s eyes disappears as he knows what is about to come next. He is hopeless.

 

“I’ll give you a head start, but no leaving the house. Go.” Jackson hisses out.

 

Michael squeaks and runs to his room, and goes into the closet. He removes his red hoodie, and now all his scars are revealed. He knows he can’t take the risk of Jackson ruining a hoodie that means so much to him. He can hear a clock ticking somewhere in his room and it’s only making his chest constrict. What else does he need to keep safe?

 

Michael takes off a ‘Player One’ necklace and a pokemon necklace that says ‘I choose you’. Jeremy has the other have to both of these items. This is all Michael can think to keep safe in his closet before he hears a creaky floorboard and echoing footsteps. Michael wants to cry out for help but he knows it is no use.

 

“Awe, a fag is hiding by his closet. What a coincidence?”

“You know moms would kill you if you they heard you say that.” Michael says, trying to stand his ground.

 

This is a bad decision on Michael’s part and he knows it. He knows it very well as Jackson delivers to him a cold slap across the face. Michael can practically feel a mark of Jackson’s hand burning and ripping it’s way through his skin.

 

“I’ll never understand why you do this.” Michael mumbles.

“It’s fun to watch a fairy like you scream a little girl.” Jackson laughs softly.

 

Michael thinks is sick. It’s sick that hurting someone could bring someone such joy. Michael knows it’ll be hard but he refuses to scream. He refuses to cry. He will not give Jackson what he wants, no matter how bad it hurts. Until…

 

“Later, loser.” Jackson hisses and leaves Michael all bruised on the floor.

 

That word is what sets Michael’s off, and it is something that Michael can not fight no matter how hard he tries. Michael, who never cries, lets out a heart wrenching sob. It’s absolutely horrifying to hear, and perhaps terrifying. Everything burns and hurts.

 

Michael is aware that he now has a black eye and part of his lip is swollen. He knows that everything hurts from the kicking, slapping, and the punching. Michael doesn’t think about it but he just uncontrollably starts screaming for help. He screams for both but his mothers. He screams for Jeremy. He even screams for his sister, but he knows that no one is there. It’s an empty and helpless feeling. It’s overwhelming and numb all at once.

 

Once Michael comes to his senses, this happens after about forty-five minutes of screaming and crying and a panic attack, he sits up. He notices that his bathroom door is open and the glistening of his butterfly knife. He forces himself to stand.

 

The next few minutes are a little blurry to Michael because all he can hear is the ‘L’ word on repeat in the back of his mind. Said by Jeremy, said by Jackson, screamed by himself.

 

_‘Michael in the bathroom by himself’_

 

He suddenly thinks to himself and gasps as he drops the butterfly knife on the ground. It was blood dripping from the blood that he know realizes is coming from his right arm. The crimson goo oozes slightly, but he does not fear. The cuts are shallow and not at all life threatening. He does fear when he knows that he must tell Jeremy what has happened.

 

Michael feels the dark spiraling thoughts return to his mind once again. It’s the tidal wave type of thinking, but this time it feels more like a tsunami or a hurricane swirling around him. He’s drowning in the flood of his thoughts it is as if nothing could pull him out of this haze.

 

The boy, not yet an adult, begins to cry into the palms of his hands. He is gentle with the eye that has a bruise around it because he does not want to feel anymore pain. He wants safety and relief.

 

“Michael?”

 

The voice belongs to none other than Jeremiah William Heere, Michael’s loving boyfriend. Michael wonders if it is midnight already. He feels guilty for not ordering the pizza. Had time passed really that quickly?

 

No. It hasn’t. Jeremy had come home because Michael wasn’t replying to his texts and noticed how messy the house is. It breaks Jeremy’s heart to see his boy like this. He wonders if there is anything he can do for Michael because he feels absolutely hopeless. Jeremy just wants to see Michael be better.

 

“Jer?” Michael’s voice forces him to croak out.

 

Jeremy doesn’t ask to Michael explain himself as he sits down next to Michael who is curled into a ball. He takes one of Michael’s hands in his and kisses his knuckles. Jeremy knows that it is wise to be gentle with Michael for the moment and that Michael needs love and support right.

 

“Can I see?” He asks softly.

 

Michael nods. He extends his right arm out to Jeremy so that he can see the crimson goo that is still wet on his arms from a fresh batch of scars. Jeremy wants to squeak when he sees it because he feels squeamish, but knows he has to hold it in for the time being. Jeremy takes a breath before he does something sweet.

 

Jeremy presses his lips to each and every scar on Michael’s arm, and makes sure that the kisses are gently. He is gingerly holding Michael’s wrist. Jeremy does this so Michael knows he will love him even with his flaws. Even with his scars.

 

There’s something about Jeremy kissing one of the most vulnerable and damaged parts of Michael’s body that makes Michael smile inside. Michael blushes softly and feels his chest go warm from love. He can’t believe that Jeremy handles his problems so well.

 

After kissing Michael’s scars, Jeremy’s lips have a slight red gloss to them. Blood is not a lip gloss, but it makes Jeremy look like he is wearing some. It makes Michael laugh softly.

 

“Lemme get you a wet cloth.” Michael says softly, weakly getting up.

 

Jeremy assists Michael in getting up so that he can get a washcloth. Michael retrieves the item and dampens it so he can wipe of Jeremy’s face. While Michael is doing so, Jeremy studies Michael’s injuries. Jeremy’s eyes scan Michael’s face.

 

“Jackson?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah.” Michael sighs.

 

Jeremy helps Michael get to bed and goes upstairs quickly to get a few items. He gets an ice pack for his eye and a fresh washcloth for Michael’s lip. Jeremy becomes a little bit of a nurse for a second. He also takes time to take care of Michael’s cuts.

 

“I’m sorry this happened, sweetheart. Are you alright?” Jeremy asks sweetly, genuinely concerned about the other.

“Not really, babe.”

“Do you need to talk about it?”

“Jackson called me the ‘L’ word, that’s all you need to know.” Michael mumbles.

 

That strikes Jeremy, taking him by surprise. He never would have guessed that Jackson would use such a word. Jackson has a rather vulgar mouth, and Jeremy is well aware of that. Jeremy knows he uses the ‘f’ word, and not fuck. The three letter ‘f’ word that makes Michael go insane.

 

“That it?”

“He used to other name too.” Michael sighs.

 

Jeremy feels bad for Michael, he really does. He knows that someone should not have to go through so much pain and suffering for being such a sweet person. Jeremy wants to stop it, but he isn’t sure if there’s a way out for Michael. Jackson’s barely around as it is. After this school year, Michael would probably never have to see him again; he would technically have to see Jackson at family gatherings. Although, Jackson always acts good around family because everyone in the Mell family thinks that Jackson is perfect and that Michael was a mistake. Michael knows he was a mistake.

 

“Micah, what can I do to make things better?”

“Can we just watch a movie and cuddle?” Michael asks. “Talk about all the important shit in the morning? Call my therapist in the morning?”

“Sure thing, sweetheart.”

 

Jeremy tells Brooke and Christine he can’t make it to dinner because Michael really needs him. It’s only around seven at night. While Michael gets the movie set up, Jeremy orders the pizza. It’s a rather peaceful night for the two of them. Everything seems for the time being. It’s as if nothing could touch them…

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys. Two posts in one day!!?!?!? Crazy, I know. I really wanted to write this part of the series and got really excited! I hope you guys like it. Let me know what you thought.  
> Writing that ‘f’ word really kills me. Sorry for hurting your eyes.


End file.
